Q: (All made up by Moltz, of course.The poor fuck.) Maybe you can help me out. I’m wondering if there are any good pickup lines for Mac geeks. A friend of mine works in construction and he’s always got these awesome pickup lines for women.
A: Like what?
Q: Like “Do you work in a lumber yard? Because you’re giving me wood!”
A: Uh, yeah, that is … awesome.
Q: Oh, yeah.
A: Well, OK. How about this one: “Are you a disk intensive activity? Because you’re spinning up my hard drive!”
Q: Ooh, not bad!
A: Or, “Are you a gaussian blur on a 50 MB file on a Performa? Because you’re really extending my progress bar!”
Q: Yeah! … Or “Are you online porn? Because “I’m masturbating to you!”
A: Um…
Q: Too much?
A: A bit.
Just shrink that progress bar right back in your pants. For starters. Thanks.