Jeneane reports: “The Coca-Cola Company will feature its Sprite brand on a new Facebook Page …”

I’m giving this to you one level of revoltingness at a time. Someone respects your stomach.

“… and will invite users to add an application to their account called ‘Sprite Sips.’”

… and for all you hipsters out there, le piece de resistance, wait for it:

“People will be able to create, configure and interact with an animated Sprite Sips character.”

omg! omg!

kthxbye!

She says she gets it. I think she does get it. I get it too. You get it, right?

I sure as hell do. That Jeneane girl is all earnestness. And as I have told you, if you had only been paying attention, earnestness is a disappearing precious natural resource. It means, among other things, Unspoiled. On the Interwebs? Yes, even here. It means True.

True-talking, and unabashed to be so.

In other words, to know and love Jeneane—which is to say, to appreciate her as she is—you must turn your back on all this post-modern crap. Irony is useless. There’s no protection. It’s like asking men to remove their armor, and walk into battle unprotected.

Yes it is. For all of us … except me, of course. Because I have been battered about the head for long enough, I Let Go. You can think me any fool you want. I love the girl unabashedly …

And what does this all have to do with that miserable fuckin’ waste of time Facebook? I get to say miserable because I am an adult.

Not a college kid looking to hook up—a term conveying such a monster burden of sadness and the wrong, I’d have to write another book and I don’t want to.

But I will offer the Thought Of The Day. Let not the fifteen billion (or whatever absurd hell it’s up to now) obscure one simple truth: Facebook is not a platform. It’s hookup engine.

Jeneane goes on to quote Kara Swisher (see Kara’s whole url.)

…if that is all there is, can Facebook really build a viable and long-lasting business on what is essentially a bunch of games that will ultimately become wearying for users? Doesn’t it need more robust apps that actually are useful and relevant and make Facebook the service that Zuckerberg has often told me was a ‘utility’?

And there you have it. Two great women, doubting themselves (as well as deftly turning that doubt into public question) … and one mendacious man. (He really used the word Utility? Lying little shit.)

Why does the male lie so.

Money, honey.

Simple as that. The stone at the center. The bitter, bitter pill.

 
Shout out to Jeneane and Madame Levy.

This is really very witty, great acting job, his expressions, the touches in the background … Yup, I think all told I gotta go with Al.

” …blog results inundate Google search results.”

says Jeneane over at Allied, and I’ve been wondering when bloggers were going to start talking about this. Yes, you … you cloggers of the information pipeline. Is your last post funny, useful, human, new, or just plain terrific writing?

Or are you just this whiz-bang guy with the handcrafted WordPress layout, awash in widgets and gadgets, footers and sliders and Punsalen’s (wonderful) latest trick—without a single goddamn thing to say. Because when the only purpose of your post is to hand me off to another page, I could wring your scrawny little web developers neck.

Dear Reader, Are you Googling for a certain bit of information? Then prepare yourself for the Long Wade. And, dammit, if I wanted to know the thoughts of every web guy on this continent and several others … well, I just don’t. Y’all have a happy time trading Selector stories and faking out IE.

The real user, the person without time to waste, is better off at Clusty (formerly Vivismo—okay, these people need help with naming.) Clustered search results are magnificent. Blog results. Results by search engine. (Making it possible to ignore the mammoth worthlessness of MSN, who will link to a comma.)

That’s really all I got to say. (All?) Including blogs in the main search may result in a thrill from this end (Page Rank, Page Rank!) but when I am after information: Most blogs? Get the fork out of my way.