I was stricken by a cold realization this morning. Mid-tablet-rumor-euphoria, mid-schadenfreude (look it up.) This mythical tablet isn’t what I’ve been waiting for at all.
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Tablet of God
January 1st, 2010 § 2 comments § permalink
AT&T Shrugged
December 19th, 2009 § 2 comments § permalink
Dan Lyons, writing as Fake Steve, has posted a series of incredible, amusing, sorrowful indictments of stodgy, short-sighted corporate thinking. It says something about the essential craziness of the web, that he has created in FakeSteve (Jobs) a character who seems more like Steve Jobs than does Teh Steve (not that we’d know.) I’ve had a character take over a novel, and the utter realness of these people, it’s hard to explain. Read the rest of this entry »
Just For A Fucking Minute …
July 23rd, 2009 § 5 comments § permalink
I knew was no ordinary FakeSteve (I will restore your sense of childlike wonder. There is nothing you can do to stop me) post when I came upon this striking triad of sentences.
Well, this is the world we are living in. These are the people we are dealing with. This is how we have to deal with them.
Suddenly Dan began to write, the post took off somewhere new, combining the virtual with the real in a manner that took my breath away, and that of any other reader with a grain of sense. Read the rest of this entry »
“Dan Lyons Says Kiss My Ass”
January 16th, 2009 § Comments Off § permalink
Dan Lyons Says Kiss My Ass and Quits Blogging: “Jordan Golson from the Industry Standard reports that Dan told him “that he is hanging up his personal blog as RealDanLyons.com after his Newsweek bosses made him yank his post where Lyons (rightly) called Yahoo’s PR staff ‘lying sacks of shit’.
Dan then takes down the talking heads.
Banned from CNBC for life, now that’s gotta hurt. (Not.) This FakeSteve thing took the life of some Forbes reporter and whapped him on the head like a bolt of lightning … Read the rest of this entry »
So Dan Lyons Calls
August 5th, 2008 § Comments Off § permalink
Okay, he didn’t exactly call, he emailed—I so wanted to do one FakeSteve header. I also wanted to post Dan’s reply not only because is it as full of shit as previously asserted, but also that it’s such a wonderful example of trying to prove the case.
I just wrote to gruber and told him what I’m bout to tell you. I shut down fake Steve cause of health reasons.
Dan, elaborate on the steaming pile if you wish … but you had the same access to the interwebs as did I, (one assumes) and whoa, I saw all kinds of icky details about post-Whipple procedures and the like (thankfully blocked out.) Read the rest of this entry »
From Gruber to Dan to Pillar to Post
July 26th, 2008 § Comments Off § permalink
Gruber has an interesting if slightly nauseating post on Dan Lyons, Fake Steve, and Newsweek:
“Dan Lyons, who recently took over Steven Levy’s old spot as Newsweek’s technology columnist, on why he walked away from his Fake Steve Jobs weblog:
“The truth is simply this. I began hearing a few months ago that Steve Jobs was very sick. I wasn’t sure if these rumors were true or not. Then I saw how he looked at WWDC and it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I just couldn’t carry on. I hope and pray that he’s not sick. But for now I just can’t carry on with the Fake Steve character.”
I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that continuing the Fake Steve blog might have an adverse effect on the amount of access to new products Apple will grant to Lyons and Newsweek. Levy, while at Newsweek, was often seeded with new products a few weeks in advance of release, in the same rarified air as Walt Mossberg and David Pogue.
And while I would not go that snarky distance—Gruber’s remarks bespeak the ignorance of the successful blogger when it comes to corporate salaries. And suggest that the real problem may be that Apple does not seed him. Whatever—they seem beneath him. Just saying. Read the rest of this entry »
Crackers
May 18th, 2008 § Comments Off § permalink
… note to the rest of America — we may not be as sexy as Hollywood or Wall Street, but you know what? We’ve got a shitload of money, and we know how to organize. We’re a powerful bunch of khaki-wearing, gay-marriage-supporting, arugula-eating, Mac-using elitist nerds out here. To all of you racist homophobic non-Californian dumb fucks who find that annoying? Tough shit. We outsmarted you. We out-spent you. And now for the next eight years we’re going to be running this country. We’re going to give equal rights to gay people, fund stem-cell research, teach evolution, take down the fence on the Mexican border, and make sure abortion stays safe and legal. We’re going to pull out of Iraq, shut down Gitmo, and stop torturing people. And yeah. A black dude with a Muslim-sounding name and degrees from Columbia and Harvard is going to be in charge. So sit back down, strap yourself in, and shut the fuck up, crackers.
Oh heed these words. He speaks for, well, me. For one.
And don’t be too damn quick to assume he doesn’t also speak for you.
Obama’s going to run on ending the war, and if you don’t think that’s going to walk all over McComa …
{ fin }
Freetards: Boom or Bust?
February 21st, 2008 § Comments Off § permalink

Or, to put it another way (I could do these forever): Run ‘em right over with the giant money truck, just like the rest of us, but the beauty (?) of Linux geeks is, They never even notice. Read the rest of this entry »
