Moltz's Pickup Lines For Geeks

Q: (All made up by Moltz, of course.The poor fuck.) Maybe you can help me out. I’m wondering if there are any good pickup lines for Mac geeks. A friend of mine works in construction and he’s always got these awesome pickup lines for women.

A: Like what?

Q: Like “Do you work in a lumber yard? Because you’re giving me wood!”

A: Uh, yeah, that is ... awesome.

Q: Oh, yeah.

A: Well, OK. How about this one: “Are you a disk intensive activity? Because you’re spinning up my hard drive!”

Q: Ooh, not bad!

A: Or, “Are you a gaussian blur on a 50 MB file on a Performa? Because you’re really extending my progress bar!”

Q: Yeah! ... Or “Are you online porn? Because “I’m masturbating to you!”

A: Um…

Q: Too much?

A: A bit.

Just shrink that progress bar right back in your pants. For starters. Thanks.

Undermining Dick Cheney

Cheney Assails Those Favoring Iraq Drawdown
“Vice President Dick Cheney offered an aggressive defense ...”

Interesting concept.

“... of the Bush administration's Iraq strategy today, asserting that those in Congress who pursue a gradual drawdown of American forces are ‘undermining’ the troops.”

No, what he's saying is that they are undermining Dick Cheney. As indeed they are. That this bothers him to hell is really beyond the creepy pale.

Not that anyone gives a fig anymore.

Mark my words. (Got a marker? Good.) It will only become more naked: Dicky cares only for Dicky, Dicky's skin, Dicky's reputation, and above all ... well, you just don't realize. Disobey Dicky, Do Not What Dicky Sees Fit—these sorts of concepts do not compute.

They just lay there, the clumps of indigestible information which eventually balloon into aneurysms behind the knees. Anyone knows that. White House crew? Gurney at the ready.

Because it's only going to get worse. Nobody is going to do a damn thing the way Dicky sees fit, which is to say, the poor man's world is already in the process of collapse. In this case, as in Rummy's, the fault lies in its own foul atmosphere. We are beyond the Planet Narcissism. We are in an inhuman universe, where the death—or life—of others, of kids, teenagers, do not connect up with, More Troops! On The Ground!

And all he knows, to try and get his way, is to say shitty things about others. Oh Dick. That iron-willed focus. Der Fuhrer would have loved you.

Mr. Attractive

If you want to pretend that blogrolls, popularity lists (et.al.) don't exist, that's fine. If you want to claim that they hurt people, then you are engaging in something I can only call stupidity. Sorry–I call them the way I see them. –James R.

World Wide Web: big downside: great staggering masses of cluelessness.

Not all male, but for the most part.

Shelley Powers is one smart and gracious woman. What I might be like, if only I were nice. So why are the geek-syndromers drawn like moths to leave the proud little turds of their comments on that loveliest of blogs, Just Shelley, where they will make special fools of themselves.

Because they must. Next!