Quelle horreur!

Mac Backup Software that is Harmful?

How can zis be?

Becozz eet eats opp all ze metadata?

Let me give you my own personal take on that: I HATE metadata.

I hate whoever thought it up, I hate whoever foisted it upon the lives of OS X users, most of whom have their hands full just wading through their data. (80GB? 100GB?) Fuck meta. Just the thought of data-about-data gives me one of those Through The Looking Glass headaches.

Take a Memo: 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino CA. (And no there ain't no stinkin' comma there, god damn it) The day I want to find something on my computer by "Model of the device used to acquire this document" or "Whether red eye correction was on or off" or "Method used to deliver the media (Fast Start or RSTP)" ... mark it on your calendar, boys, because that's the day they throw an ice-skating party in hell.

Just tell me where my file is. And that's all! I don't want to know another god damn thing about it! Just find it and show me a list! I will click on my choice, Spotlight will go away, and that will be the end of it!

But no. That would be so un-Apple-like. Where's the mystery in drab old Find.

I suppose in the rarefied air of #1 Endless, they're also oblivious to the fact that Spotlight has spawned a whole new category of shareware: Spotlight workarounds and potentially human-usable interfaces. I use a Finder hack so that Command-F—get this—finds the file I'm looking for.

And when I want to know more than that, here's what I'll do: GET A LIFE.

Steve must have a zillion photos and also give a rat's ass about classifying them according EXIF data, whatever that is. No, I know what that is, it's one of the things people imagine is important when they don't know how to stop.

You're lookin' much better, Steveness. (May I call you Steveness? For short?) Which is why I feel free to tear into your ass. But try not to scare us like that again. Almost dropped my iPod. (Sung to the tune of Almost Cut My Hair.) (Well, in my head it is.)